(these jokes are not meant to offend anyone - take them in good humour)
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching!
Why is a violinist like a SCUD missile?
Both are offensive and inaccurate.
Why do violinists put a cloth between their chin and their instruments?
Violins don't have pit valves.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major
How do you get two piccolos to play in unison?
Why is a bassoon better than one oboe?
The bassoon burns longer.
What is a burning oboe good for?
Setting a bassoon on fire.
What is the definition of a half step?
Two oboes playing in unison.
What is the definition of a major second?
Two barogue oboes playing in unison.
What is the definition of a "nerd"?
Someone who owns their own alto clarinet.
Whats the difference between a SCUD missile and a bad oboist?
A bad oboist can kill you.
What's the difference between a saxaphone and a lawn mower?
1. Lawn mowers sound better in small ensembles.
2. The neighbours are upset if you borrow a lawnmower and don't return it.
3. The grip.
more jokes to come - so please visit again.